Dear Dad,

You are a big part of me,
But a part I am forbidden to see.
I don't know your name,
And I don't pass any blame.
I will probably never know you,
But believe me when I say my missing you is true.
Why did you walk away when you knew she had lied?
Have you ever thought of me and cried?
There is a deep aching in my heart,
From not knowing my missing part.
Do I have a sister or even a brother?
Do they know of me, do they father?
I will be twenty-six on November's fourteenth day,
But you don't know that and therefore have nothing to say.
Are Grandma and Grandpa still alive?
Do you hide the truth so you may survive?
I didn't know you existed until I was ten.
Will I ever see your face, If so when?
Where do you work? What do you do?
Will I ever stop thinking of you?
Daddy, I want you in my life,
But I want your family to be without strife,
So I will leave you alone.
I only your name wanted to know.
So Goodbye, whoever and wherever you are,
Love always, Your Secret Daughter

Getting caught up

Well I finally had one day off but it's back to work today. Man I needed that day off! I have become a care manager at work as well as the concierge. Between training and work I am a bit wiped out. I am putting my kiddos in full-time daycare. I have may have found an fcc provider here on base that will be watching them. We will see after our interview/meeting at 1pm.

I just joined facebook this morning so feel free to add me. Everybody kept telling my hubby and I we needed to so I finally did.

Tommy and I both got our first parking tickets yesterday morning for parking facing the wrong direction, oops! At least they are only $45 a pop. However, Tommy got another ticket this morning for failure to stop at a red light. I am thinking if we keep going at this rate my whole paycheck is going to go to tickets.

Well I will be back after breakfast but while I am gone look at the beautiful day we are having. It's 40 degrees though!

The Art That Changed Me

Poetry, it can enhance and touch someone's life greatly with just a simple phrase. It can open door ways in your imagination that you never knew were there. Poetry may even make someone think about something twice, and as a result save another person's life or even their own. Poetry can help ease the pain of someone's passing, and it can even relieve stress. Poetry can be about anything.

Recently, I have decided to start writing again. Poetry takes hold of my emotions, that are bottled up inside and turns them into floods of intertwining words, rhymes, and phrases. I remember how I used to use poetry to release my secret feelings, I found it hard to express my emotions. I did not want to talk about or even think about them. It was a rough patch in my life. Then one night I remember staring aimlessly at the flashing cursor on my blank computer screen, and suddenly I began to type. I have not really written any poetry in about 7 years and I miss it.

I used to write daily and loved to share them with friends and family. That one poem led to many, many more. It was a way for me to reach my innerself and release the tension and stress in my life.

Last night I helped with the poetry club at work and remembered the love I have for this art. You truly can write about anything in poetry. The words can even bring someone else to tears. Don't get me wrong poems can express love and happiness. However, the one's that have always stuck in my mind tell a story with a lesson, a hidden message persay. Poetry can open the door to a wonderful and intriguing imagination, while at the same time slamming another door on bad habits or a harsh past. Poetry can influence in many ways, and yes I know some would say it doesn't, but personally it had changed mine. I hate to have lived without it for so long. So today I am making myself the habit of writing again.

I will share some occasionally on here, but my poems will be like my journal. I plan for it to be my release once again.

First day of Daycare

So with me being back at work we decided that hourly daycare on post might come in handy for my training days and also the days where we may just need it. I also got a list of FCC (Family Child Care) Providers, for those times I may need a provider outside the hours of the hourly daycare.

Tj has been in daycare before and seemed to do pretty well. He is excited about going to "school" and making friends. I tried explaining it wasn't school, but he just does not care. He has changed a lot since he was in daycare and it is for the better in that environment. He is more outgoing and just jumps right in to what the group is doing.

Elaine however has never been in Daycare. Only babysat by people she has known or played with their kids. She will more than likely will make me cry today. I expect her to cry too, but then again she may completely shock me and not shed a tear and just run off and play. (I am hoping that is what happens.)

Tj was taken out of daycare a little after the month Elaine was born, so when he was 21 months. So he doesn't remember daycare, I am sure. For their first day I am sending them to a doozy, 7 1/2 hours unless Tommy manages to get their sooner.

Well we will see what happens after today. Hope you have a great one. My load of laundry just finished time to fold and put away.

No Sew Fleece Blanket

No Sew Fleece Blanket

Materials needed:

Fabric needs to be at least 40 inches or wider (most are 54 inches).

Baby/Toddler - 1 to 1 1/2 yards (in both fabrics).

Child - 1 3/4 yards (in both fabrics).

Teen/Adult - 2 yards (in both fabrics).

Make your blanket(s) bigger for taller or bigger people.

Things you need:

*Two pieces of fleece the same size. Piece may be the same pattern, two different patterns, two plain colors or a pattern on one side and a plain color on the other.

*Scissors (sharp ones)

*Tape measure or ruler one 4" x 4" piece of paper

No sew fleece blanket instructions:

*Take your two pieces of fleece. Put one piece on top of the other lining up the edges so they are even. (one side will be the front and the other side will be the back of your blanket)

*Trim off any selvage around the edges of your fleece ( try not to cut in more than 2 inches)

*Remember you need to try to cut straight, but it doesn't have to be.
*Take your piece of 4"x4" paper lay it on the corner of your blanket. Then cut out the corner through both layers. Proceed to do this on all four corners.
*Now you are ready to cut your fringes. Cut 4 inches into both fleeces at 1" wide.
*Your fringes don't need to be 1" exactly, just try to keep them the same size.( You don't want to have one fringe 1" and the next one 2".)

*Cut 1" fringes on all four sides.
*Starting on one side tie over hand knots (using one fringe from each fleece.)

*Tie these knots on every other fringe around the entire blanket.
*Then flip the whole blanket over and tie the remaining knots until your blanket is complete.

*Some prefer to only tie one knot, but I like to double knot them. This helps them from coming untied especially in the wash.

Now you are finished. Wasn't that Easy? I just love making these.

Happy Labor Day!

Well today was a good and bad day. I spent the morning with my family and then off to work. I went in three hours early trying to get some training on the kiosk (computers) done just to find out they were down. Of course since it was Labor Day no one was at the tech office. So I came home and relaxed some more. I got to work with nothing to do. So I found stuff to do then played skipbo with some of the residents. Behind the scenes though there was a death. I was clueless. It is hard to accept the fact that soon I could be missing some of my bingo partners or just some of the faces I have grown accustom to.

I have always thought I can be one of those people that makes these times easier for the families, but tonight I did quite the opposite. Not on purpose of course. It made me sick when I realized what was going on. It also amazed me at how many people were laughing and making jokes over the death. One person even made a comment a week ago that they would not miss this person after they were gone. Once again I am reaffirmed in my belief that you need to be careful what you wish for.

Well I am off to bed. It is going to be an early day tomorrow, and these margarita's are getting to me.

Night

My friends!

I miss my friends!!!

Amanda,

I miss our quick front porch chats or letting our kids play. I didn't realize how much those little moments between "parenting" or better yet going crazy meant to me! Thank you for being there for me. You truly are a good person. I know times get rough, and some people can just drive you nuts ("the crazies," the kiddos and the hubby). But as much as you worried about it you are not and never will be one of them. You could never drive me nuts. I miss you woman! I am glad to hear you are doing well. Stay strong. Give the girls hugs from me.

Violet

Laura,

I am amazed it took us as long as it did to patch the holes in our friendship, and yet I am already missing you. Thank you for being a good friend. I wish we could have gotten together more before I left. I can't believe how quickly things change. Nor can I believe how fast baby Cole is growing! Remember to take time for you between school , the kids, the hubby, and your crazy family (LOL, would you believe it if I told you I still remember the good times and laugh).

Violet

Okay, okay I know to some that may sound crazy or "gay" but its the truth. These two women mean alot to me and may never know how much their friendship pulled me through. They truly are life long friends. Feel blessed to have them as yours. I will miss you gals. Guess how much I suck!?!? I don't have a photo with either of you two women.

Play group time

So we moved a month ago from Texas to Colorado. Gotta love Army life! I love it so far it's beautiful and people are so friendly, but at the same time I miss my friends and I know my kids do to. I found a job very quickly and it is great, and it allows me a little break from my kiddos. I work less then 15 hours a week at an Assisted Living home. I am also enjoying my new home. I am just finding it hard to find friends for myself and kiddos. I guess its time to start searching area play groups.

The Airplane Restaurant

Tommy wanted to surprise me after getting my job, so when I got home from my first day of training Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 he took me and the kiddos to The Airplane Restaurant.

How To Make a TUTU - DIY

I started making Elaine's Halloween costume Today, a bumble bee. So I figured I would share how to with my followers.

I have found that using a ribbon works better than elastic because your child doesn't out grow it as quick. Also you can tie a big pretty bow if you use a nice thick ribbon. Cut the ribbon between 6 and 10 inches longer than the size of your child's waist (the longer the extra ribbon the bigger the bow and the more growing room your child has.

I use the spools of tulle (about 4). Cut the tulle into strips twice as long as the length desired for your tutu.

Fold strips in have to form a loop at the end and then pull the ends through the loop catching the ribbon in between. Keep doing this! Remeber to leave extra ribbon at both ends.

When I finish I tie knots at the end of the tulle so I can scrunch and bunch the tulle for more poof.

Then take the tutu holding at the ends of the ribbon and tie with a big bow around your child.

Look back and admire the fact you made a tutu for your child that they will love!


I will post photos of one of my recent ones for Elaine in the morning.

More Free Stuff for Soldiers

Free Printable Military Crafts, Games and Other Cool Stuff

http://www.freepatrioticproject.com/

Free Cookies from The Cookie Lady (My Husband Loved These!)

http://www.treatthetroops.org/

Free Books for Soldiers

http://www.booksforsoldiers.com/forum/index.php

Free Care Package Shipping Materials

http://www.defenselink.mil/news/newsarticle.aspx?id=24758

Free Bracelet

http://www.harmsway4kids.com/html/bracelet.htm

Free Care Package from Operation Military Pride

http://operationmilitarypride.org/smsignup.html

These are a few that I have used and know are still up and running. Please feel free to let me know of any you might know and I will add them to the list. I will add more as I come across them.

Attention Military Wives/Spouses

Starting September 2nd. Photographers in your area may be giving away a free family portrait for the families of a service member who will be deployed this holiday season. It is being sponsored by the PMDA, and Soldiers' Angels. Hurry up and click on the the link you don't want to miss this wonderful opportunity. http://www.pmdaportraitsoflove.com/families.php

Yeah I know I suck.

I can't believe it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post. Things are finally starting to level out at work. Soon I will actually only be working Saturday evenings, Sundays and Monday evenings. It kind of stinks cause I have gotten used to my schedule (well kinda sorta). It will be nice to have my house not be a mess everyday! Nor will I be exhausted. I am in a bit of missing Texas slump. Well, not Texas but my friends and family in Texas. Well I am going to put my rugrats (kids) LOL in bed and then I will post some more and some semi recent photos.

Taco Ring

This is a favorite among my family and friends. I will add the photo the next time I make it, since I forgot to take one this time.

Ingredients

1 lb ground beef

1 (1 1/4 ounce) package taco seasoning mix

2 cup shredded cheddar cheese

2 tablespoons water

2 packages refrigerated crescent dinner rolls

1 cup frozen corn

1 cup salsa

3 cups lettuce, shredded

1 medium tomato

1/4 cup onion, chopped (optional)

1/2 cup pitted ripe black olives (optional)

sour cream (optional)

Directions

1 Preheat oven to 375°F.

2 Cook ground beef and onions in large skillet over medium heat until beef is browned and onion with taco seasoning and water.

3 Stir in 1 cup of frozen corn and cook until corn is done.

4 Drain meat mixture.

5 Stir in 1 and 1/2 cups of cheese.

6 Unroll crescent dough; separate into triangles.

7 Arrange triangles in a circle on Round Stone (A large baking sheet works fine too.) with wide ends overlapping in center and points toward outside. (There should be a 5 inch diameter opening in center.)

8 Scoop meat mixture evenly onto widest end of each triangles up over filling and tuck under wide ends of dough at center of ring. (Filling will not be completely covered).

9 Bake at 20-25 minutes or until golden brown.

10 Melt 3 Tablespoons of sour cream in the Microwave.

11 Sprinkle last 1/2 cup of cheese over the top of the ring and then drizzle the sour cream.

12 Shred lettuce and chop tomato, onion, and olives (if desired) and place in the center of the ring.

13 It's great with salsa too.